What “spoils” a child isn’t giving them unconditional love and acceptance, it’s giving them a sense of entitlement. Children who believe they are inherently more valuable than other children (because of race, class status, wealth, family etc.) will grow into adults who cause a wide swath of suffering to the people around them.
Think of whites in the Jim Crow south. Think of religious people who try to impose their religion on others. Think of men who don’t believe women when they say no. Think of the wealthy who don’t think the poor are “entitled” to food or medical care.